To save you guys from the hassle, here is a print screen version of my job advertisement :)
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Dear Recruitment Officer:
Application for Senior/Medical Technologist (Virology)
I am writing to express my keen interest for the above-stated position, which was posted on the Careers@SingHealth Group website on the 1st of February 2010.
I graduated from National University of Singapore (NUS) with a 2nd Class Honors in Life Science, majoring in Biomedical Sciences. I believe that I am equipped with the skills and qualities required for this position. I am aware that this job requires the necessary laboratory skills for processing and conducting tests on patients’ samples. As I have taken the modules Microbiology and Immunology before, I am adequately experienced in techniques such as Flow Cytometry, Enzyme-Linked Immunoabsorbent Assay (ELISA), Elispot, Giemsa Stain, Dipstick, and aseptic techiques for bacteria and viral innoculation. My thinking and research skills were further honed through my participation in the Final Year Project (FYP). Also, as an earnest learner, I am willing to pick up any new skill during the course of the job. Given my skills and ‘willing-to-learn’ attitude, I am confident that I will be of great help to your team.
I feel that a technologist should have patience, discipline and more importantly passion for the job, for he may have to perform the same long and laborious experiment several times a day. I was a student volunteer of National University Hospital- National Volunteer Action Committe (NUH-NVAC) for 2 years. My role was to visit and accompany the paediatric patients for 2 hours weekly. Though I was requested to conduct the same few activities like teaching them to colour and read, playing games with them in every session, I did not feel bored and was dedicated to my role. These 2 years of invaluable volunteering experience have indeed transformed me into a more patient, disciplined and compassionate individual. With these qualities I posses, I am confident that I will be a good technologist.
I also understand that the need to work effectively with others and the quality of being meticulous are crucial in this job. As a temporary administrative assistant in an insurance company for 7 months, I was able to work and relate well with different people in my department. Also, I had to process and issue insurance policy invoices that involved a large sum of money to customers. In addition, I had to generate a report for the top managerial staffs before the monthly managerial meeting. Through this job, I have trained to become a more analytical and meticulous individual. I believe that I am able to build a strong rapport with my new colleagues and will be meticulous in my work to ensure the preciseness and accuracy of the result.
Being a medical technologist is not merely someone who generates data from blood samples, but is part of a comprehensive team that contributes to the total care of a patient when he or she is at the most vulnerable part of his / her life. With the above-mentioned traits, I believe that I can be a valuable asset to your dynamic team.
I look forward to meeting with you in person to have a more in-depth discussion on what my enclosed resume is not able to furnish. I can be contacted at (65)9123 4567 or xyz@nus.edu.sg.
Thank you very much for your time and consideration.
Yours sincerly,
Wei Ying
Encl: Resume
*note: email address and mobile number are not included due to privacy purposes.
4 comments:
Dear Weiying,
Your first paragraph shows your enthusiasm in the job, when your wrote that "Also, as an earnest learner, I am willing to pick up any new skill during the course of the job. Given my skills and ‘willing-to-learn’ attitude, I am confident that I will be of great help to your team." Also, you may want to specify which whether your 2nd Class Honours is Upper or Lower.
It is good that you have listed the relevant technical skills that you have acquired in your Microbiology and Immunology modules. However, you may want to phrase it as "Having taken modules such as Microbiology and Immunology..." instead of "As I have taken the modules..". This would show that you have taken other modules that are relevant to this job, instead of only this two modules.
Also, you may want to specify what your Final Year Project is about, having spent one year on it. It may be a form of experience to the employer, since they have stated that they want at least three years of experience in a clinical laboratory.
In your third paragraph, I feel that the first sentence can be omitted. I understand that you may be trying to acknowledge the challenge of the job, but your perception of what a technologist should be may not be the same as the employer. This sentence also has a negative connotation, with the use of the word "laborious". The same applies in one of your sentences in the fourth paragraph, when you mentioned that you did not feel bored. Negative connotation should preferably be avoided in the resume, as it gives the impression to the employers that you may be a pessimistic person, and that you may be thinking that the job may be laborious and boring.
Also in the fourth paragraph, I think that it is good that you have given your volunteering experience and I like the fifth paragraph when you try to bring up that you are meticulous and work well with others. This I believe is something that the employers may be looking for.
Lastly, for your fifth paragraph, you stated your perspective of the job. I am not very sure whether a medical technologist is required to take care of the patients.
Overall, I feel that you can improve on the conciseness of your application letter and remove words and description that may not be relevant to the job.
Dear Weiying,
I liked the fact that you were focussed on the skills you gained that are directly related to the job posting in the first paragraph. I think that would definitely help.
Few pointers that could possibly help are -
1) Length - The paragraphs look very long and heavy and these play a major role in helping the HR person decide whether to spend 30 seconds or 2 minutes on your application.
2) Understanding - In my humble opinion, there is no need to show that you understand the importance of attributes like team-work, analytical ability. I think it is implied you understand. Getting directly to the point i.e. saying 'I worked with NUH-NVAC and loved my job' already says a lot about you.
3) 'Bored' can be a negative word. It is better to stay away from that in your application.
4) I see you have mentioned FYP. I am guessing you have fast-forwarded to your year 4?
Hope this helps!
Cheers
Rohan
Hi Weiying
I feel that your letter is generally relevant to the job that your are applying for.
I only have a few suggestions for you regarding sentence structure and phrasing:
Paragraph 2 - I think that "positive learning attitude" would sound better than "'willing-to-learn' attitude".
Paragraph 4 - You wrote "I believe that I am able to build a strong rapport with my new colleagues and will be meticulous in my work to ensure the preciseness and accuracy of the result." I think you should remove the word "will" so that it will be "I believe that I am able to build a strong rapport with my new colleagues and be meticulous in my work to ensure the preciseness and accuracy of the result."
Also, I noticed a minor typo error in paragraph 3. The word "possessed" is spelled wrongly.
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